pisces new moon 🌑

Pisces season is almost over, which I’m real sad about because it’s my favorite time of year. I love daydreaming and feeling st home with the energy around me… it’s been nice to go inside and retreat for the past month. BUT, I’m ready to emerge! I’m ready for what’s next! I’m ready for Aries season to light a fire under my ass to get the motion moving and turn my daydreams into reality.

I always love taking the time to set intentions and sit with the new Moon, but I’m extra excited for all the seeds that I’m planting this for this lunation cycle! The fog is finally clearing and I’m starting to see what the path ahead looks like… and where I would like to end up. I have a lot of big plans in store!

I can’t spill all the beans right now, but some of the things I’m working on are getting more videos out and really diving deeper in to my creative spaces. I’m listening to my intuition instead of all the noise around me and have had quite a few aha moments.

Healing and letting go has been a large part of creating more energy to use in other areas of my life. When I can free up energy from feeding into old patterns and reactions and judgements and just allow what is to be, Ive found peace in even the most stressful situations this month. The other day my friend was like “Yo, are you alright? Because if it was me I would be freaking out right now.”

I want to take full credit and say that I’ve finally arrived at stillness (LOL I don’t think that’s a possible state to maintain forever in this world) and I know I have some hurt emotions I haven’t processed… but I’m good. I don’t even understand fully why I’m not mad or whatever… but I’m not. And everything I’ve been reading has just given me more hope and assurance that everything is ok.

So what seeds are you going to plant during this dark and fertile time?

From Kathy Biel at Astrology Hub

“Feeling sensitive? Awash in other people’s stuff? Just plain feeling?

You’re under the influence of the Mar. 17 Pisces New Moon.

The Pisces New Moon launches the last lunar cycle before the Spring Equinox, Mar. 20. What might we create, in the season’s final days?

We’re not likely to float or wallow. My forecast explains:

“The Pisces New Moon is the switch into awareness of (and escalating) discomfort, just before release. … It’s productive, motivating and potentially profoundly healing. And it comes with a kick that sets off the exploding life force of the spring.

New Moons bring fresh starts, and new life… It’s the wet, soggy ground hiding the seeds magically germinating new life.”

From Mystic Mamma

*NEW MOON* in Pisces on March 17th is being called a healing Moon, for it will reveal much that is needing to be healed.
With a lot of fiery energy in the air, it’s vital to take deep breaths, slow down and take time to turn inward for reflection and revelation.
These seas must be traversed with much compassion for self and other.
This current passage has the potential to bring about a great healing, as we feel and address the spaces that have been stirring deep pain for us.
We have an opportunity to become more aware in the midst, opening our hearts and our perceptions.
We are all in the ongoing process of personal and collective evolution, and everyday we are being challenged to surrender the choices that bind and open up to new way, while holding ourselves and others ever so gently.”

From Henry Seltzer at Astrograph

Saturday’s New Moon has some very interesting astrological features, all pointing to it’s being time to begin doing some serious interior work. For one thing, this New Moon takes place in inner-oriented Pisces, and square to Mars in the last degree of Sagittarius, just before Mars enters Capricorn that same morning. This implies studied activity in pursuit of spiritual goals. The Sun and Moon of this New Moon are also found in close aspect to startling and revelatory Uranus, plus in conjunction there in Pisces with Chiron, the Wounded Healer, which speaks to the concept of unearthing old trauma for the purpose of moving beyond it.
Finally, the new planet Eris, representing a Feminine Warrior energy in support of soul intention, is extremely activated in this timing also, being closely aspected by retrograde Jupiter in Scorpio to within a minute of a degree. This brings out the urgent desire to make something concretely happen in your life that is consistent with your deep-seated goals. All in all, you are being enjoined by the Universe to take a stand for yourself by coming to a more complete understanding of who you truly are, inside and out, and by better navigating the persistent presence in your life of ancient wounding, which until you can get a handle on can be crippling and disruptive to your natural arc of development.

being yourself even when it’s really hard and people don’t like it

For about the past month I’ve been trying to figure out why some of my relationships have been suffering and slowly falling apart. I don’t know if I can truthfully say conflict, because I haven’t been mad, but they’ve sure been mad at me. And the funny thing is they keep accusing me of being mad. Which has been really confusing.

I’ve tried to figure out the root of the problem, like what they’re actually upset at, because the things that they are claiming to be upset over are so minuscule and insignificant, that how could someone really be that mad at something that small for that long. To be fair, I guess you can be however mad for however long, no matter the issue. But it’s just seemed to me that something deeper was the real cause of the issue.

I know I can’t ever understand exactly how another person is feeling or why, but I try to guess so that I can have a better understanding for what the situation may feel like to them. I’ve tried and tried and I still couldn’t understand.

This whole time I’ve tried not to obsess, and just keep living my life, and stay open and ready if any answers happened to come my way. The funny things is it’s been one of the best months of my life! Which seems counterintuitive with everything that’s been going on.

I’ve been feeling the need for seclusion, so instead of socializing I’ve been hanging out with my son, reading a lot of books, and doing a lot of inner work. I love it! Ever since I really started to get to know myself and spend time with myself, I really enjoy my own company. Self love has been a difficult thing to practice, but I get better at it every day. And the more self love I’ve developed the more empathy I’ve been able to find for other people. We all have our own shit we’re dealing with and doing our best to make it through.

Anyways, after a lot of quiet contemplation and seeking I’ve realized that the number one reason why people are mad at you, is because you aren’t being who they expect you to be. We all do it. Love is conditional for most of us, and unless the people we love are fitting into our idea of how they should act, we don’t accept them and we push them away and we become angry and then we blame it all on them.

Growing up I dealt with that in my family a lot, because who I was and who they wanted me to be are two totally different people. It’s taken a lifetime, but choosing who I want to be and following that path has been, and still is a very painful process. I think that’s why so many of us choose to not do it. Or put on an act for the people we love and never show them who we really are.

When I’m scared of making a big change I always think back to that quote that says something like you’ll continue living the same way until the misery finally becomes too much and only then will you change. I think it’s that way with following our hearts too. We so want to be loved and accepted, especially by our families and partners and friends, that we continue to live a life not our own to feel the false security of their support.

It’s the hardest thing in the world for someone you love to withdraw that love because they don’t agree with how you choose to live your life. It’s a painful wound that might never heal, but what I’ve come to realize is that the pain of not living as your authentic self is so much worse. And if those people are really meant to be in your life, they will be. Life is too short to surround yourself with people who don’t want the best for you, even thought it may not be what they had envisioned.

photo by Miesh Photography

how to connect with depressed friends

I LOVE this TEDx talk about connecting with finds who are depressed. I’ve found so many times that depression is all the more isolating, because friends and family don’t understand what depression really is like to live with or know how to be there for those they care about when they are depressed.

The best times I’ve shared with others while I was depressed were the little moments of quiet companionship and maybe a dark joke. Like Bill says in the video, you can be sad and still be ok. It’s disheartening when you feel like you have to put on a mask in order to be accepted and loved. The thing that is the most comforting when you are depressed is knowing that you are still loved, appreciated, and valued exactly as you are at that moment.

Our culture is obsessed with fake happiness, and the truth is that life is messy and hard and sad, and so many other different emotions that we hide, and don’t allow ourselves to experience because we are afraid of not conforming to what society tells us are acceptable emotions to feel and display. The amazing thing about feeling down is that you appreciate feeling good so much more. The lower you go, the higher you can go.  Once I started to honor the darkness, and the light, I realized how integral and beautiful they each are to our growth.

I heard a quote the other day that was talking about how we could never see the beauty of the night sky and the stars unless the moon was dark, because if the moon was always full we would only know the light. I finally realized after watching this video that the gold in the pain of depression for me, is that it causes me to slow down and practice gratitude for all the small, beautiful things that life is full of. Depression has helped me to become more compassionate towards others. It has also taught me how beautiful the impermanence of life is. Death and life are the same. Without one the other wouldn’t be possible.

march madness 🌙

Spring is coming!

There is so much awesome energy on the way to help us continue our transformation into the best us we can be. I’m so excited to continue exploring and working with all the fresh magic I can feel, just in time for Spring.

Here are some of my favorite forecasts for what we can expect during March 🙂


Jessica Lanyadoo for The Hoodwitch

“There’s so much going on this week that it’s important to remember to breathe. The bottom line is that life is not a collection of details – it’s the whole picture. You may be having a rough time now, but that doesn’t mean that you will tomorrow. If you find that you’re losing perspective, take a step back and take a moment to get present. You don’t need to be perfect, you only need to be whole. You don’t need to know what’s coming next, you only need to do your best in the here and now.
On the 1st we have a fertile Full Moon in Virgo at 4:51pmPST. What are you willing to let go of in order to make room for something better? The Sun is in idealistic Pisces, while the Moon is in boots-on-the-ground Virgo. It’s time to pour your heart and efforts into what you love. How can you love what you have to do, even when it’s a boner? This is a period to explore the idea of perfection; what is it, really? Find it in the mundane, in the profane, in the weeds, and in the valleys. Perfection is right here, right now because the present moment could be no other way than as it is. Perfection requires presence and acceptance – not an OCD attention to purity but an embracing of this moment – the good, the bad, and the ugly of it.
Let go of distractions, and be here for the beauty of what is. Gear your actions in service to what you can help improve. This isn’t the time to lament what could’ve or should’ve been. Deal directly with what is, and try to let go of what doesn’t serve that purpose.”

read the entire forecast here


Leslie Benson for Astrograph

“The Full Moon in Virgo, opposite the Sun, still swimming through Pisces, brings our awareness to the processes of purification, our orientation in tending to life’s nitty gritty details, and the polarity (or perhaps paradox) of mundane life amidst the Great Mystery of our existence. Virgo is a mutable earth sign, and Pisces is a mutable water sign, so when the Full Moon falls on this axis there is an opportunity both for being open to the possibility and opportunities for change, yet also attempting to stabilize amidst the topsy-turvy feelings that can come up when things are too much in flux. Add to that a whopping dose of Neptune (located in the sign of his rulership in Pisces, plus conjunct AND parallel the Sun) and we have ourselves a vast, numinous, and oceanic atmosphere for this Full Moontime. Neptune’s wisdom helps us see into the ethers, opening our perception to just how gorgeously magnificent and miraculous our universe – and our place within it – can truly be. This opening and expansion in awareness can also sometimes create a state of confusion or feeling lost at sea, especially when that larger than life energy comes into contact with areas in our psyche or system which are, for whatever reason, resistant or contracted against full acceptance of Universal Love.” 


Kathy Biel for Astrology Hub

“Longing for sanity? Solid ground? This year’s Virgo Full Moon on March 1/2, 2018 has your fix.
It’s powering up our abilities to analyze, communicate and problem solve, even as emotional high tides crest.
Welcome possibilities all, as we emerge from recent eclipses into a Pisces-dominated sky.
The Moon is beaming down anchors – or life preservers – as we float on the sea of life. Or flounder, as it’s felt for some of us lately.
Don’t expect a smooth ride, though. This Full Moon teems with factors that could cloud and complicate perceptions and actions. … All this water is linking us effortlessly. Connecting is deep, profound, candid and revealing. Granted, fears can bubble up through that link to infect relationships, but so can intense feelings that you may not have allowed yourself to acknowledge.”

read the entire forecast here


Pat Lilies for Mystic Mamma

“If your mind and head talk are holding you at arms length from self acceptance of all that you are, take up Jupiter’s offer to free you from the psychological skeletons that you are dragging into the arena of new opportunities. 
“With so much Piscean support, Mercury can help you surrender mentally and use your feminine, water nature to guide you into union with that which is greater than self. 
“One teaching indigenous people embody and share in their rituals and daily lives is the ability to turn over guilt, burdens and sufferings to higher power ~ a profound and simple act that western cultures seem to lack and therefore, unnecessarily carry physical, mental and emotional loads in their daily lives. 
“Use this Full Moon to surrender your heart, your mind, your burdens to Great Spirit, Mother Earth, Father Sky. 
“Your task is not guilt or suffering, but gratitude.”

read the entire forecast here

divine laziness

Today, I’m going to stay cuddled in my bed, drink tea, and watch the snow fall outside of my window. I’m practicing just enjoying the moment and not forcing myself to always be “doing” something. If I die tomorrow I want to know that I enjoyed my last day 🙂

‘Nothing is Separate: A Collaboration with Nature’ by Ellen Rutt

“I’m acknowledging my own contradictions and our collective moral flexibility – how we are simultaneously celebrating the sacredness of the natural world, while also engaging in practices that knowingly or unknowingly contribute to its destruction. We are balanced on a continuum between understanding the infinite nature of existence and participating in the mundane routine of daily life.”

Ellen Rutt

disappearing act

I was just thinking about something… I’m really bad at endings. I can usually sense when something is over, or coming to an end, and know it’s time to move on. I’m the worst at communicating that though. Most of the time I just disappear. I hate having those conversations about why I’m leaving or whatever the thing is that isn’t working out for me anymore. So, instead of being honest about my feelings, I leave and never look back. It comes back to bite me in the ass though.

I don’t know where or how I learned that stealing away like a thief in the night is less painful for both parties than telling them why you have to go. I think part of it is that I hate having to explain why. Because there’s never a good answer. I just know it’s time to go. And they’re never satisfied with that.

Maybe I’m a lot like my Dad in that sense. At my last count he has almost 20 children… and he’s left most of them behind. I don’t know if he told my mom he was leaving or why, but I do know it was when she was only a few months pregnant. I think she said the only thing he ever bought her was a box of tea.

It’s extremely hard not to take someone leaving personally. Of course it had to be something you did (or didn’t do), or maybe said. But the truth is, someone leaving can never be about you. It’s always, entirely, about them. That’s crazy to think about because of all the people and situations I left and then realizing that people leaving me is the same thing. It’s never been about me, always them. And the crazy stories or theories I came up with to cope could never match the probably very simple reasons they left.

Maybe my Dad just didn’t want the responsibility of another child. I mean obviously it couldn’t be personal… I wasn’t even born yet! But it still feels like a very personal betrayal and rejection. Maybe I’ve left so many people so that I wouldn’t be the one getting left behind. Kind of like a preemptive strike thing. Or maybe I had to leave so many people and situations to realize that leaving isn’t a personal thing and to learn to stop taking it so seriously.

Anyways, it’s a pattern I’ve been noticing. One that I’m trying to unravel and transcend. How can I muster up the courage to talk through my reasons without feeling obligated to stay? I don’t know, I guess I have to try it first and see.

Nothing is personal. Everything is just a story we tell ourselves in order to cope with what we perceive as rejection. But how can we be cut off and rejected when we’re all so deeply intertwined?

I went to my special spot on my birthday feeling lonely and let down, so I thought I would go up there for my very own pity party. My expectations weren’t lining up with reality and I was feeling very woe is me. But when I stopped to listen, all I heard around me were reminders that I wasn’t alone. The river gurgling by, the birds singing, the wind in the trees. Everything was alive and living and breathing just like I was.

No matter how hard I may try to cut myself off… the Universe and all of it’s love and support is there to hold me. The greatest lie we’ve come to believe is that we are separate. But we’re all connected. So all of our fears of rejection are pointless.

What we can do better is to allow ourselves the freedom to follow our path. There is a path each one of us must walk alone, and where it leads only we know. It’s our special mission to figure out what we came here to do.

There are cycles of beginnings and endings that we must honor. Trying to force anything will never end up well. So maybe my disappearing act isn’t a failure, but an opening to the possibility of accepting the cycles of change with grace. I love that within every shadow there is light. Within every trial is the seed of success. Life is like a spiral upwards… it’s always the same you’re just being tested on a harder and higher level of understanding. Maybe that’s what Karr meant he said, “plus ça change, plus c’est la meme chose (the more it changes, the more it is the same).”