When I wrote that last blog post about everything that happened with Matt I was pissed. Mostly at myself, because I knew that all the pain I was feeling had been created by my decisions. When I met Matt last year he wasn’t the type of guy I usually date but I decided trying new things might be good because the old way obviously wasn’t working. I didn’t realize how similar he is to the guys I usually date until now…
Looking back there were plenty of times I knew that him and I just wouldn’t work and that I had no interest in actually being with him long term, but the fear of being alone kept me from ever making a clean break. It’s funny that I was so heartbroken over a situation that I created for myself.
There is a long list of reasons he’s not the one for me but the most important thing I should’ve realized is that by continuing to have a relationship with him I’ve been holding back all the new things trying to come into my life. When one door closes another one opens right? Well, I’ve been standing in the doorway forcing it to stay open.
But I’m over that. Last month the Universe told me to let go of him and I didn’t listen. Now it’s telling me again and I’m finally getting the message. I’m the most sad that I lost a friend, but I think in the end everything that happened is for the best. It’s time to stop holding on to the past.
I’m looking forward to what’s next!