I’m a high stress individual. I worry about literally everything. I even worry about how much I worry. I think it’s something I learned from my Mom. While I was growing up I could never understand why she was so stressed all the time, but now that I’m a single mom too I totally get it. There are a lot of things to worry about! But I’m realizing more and more that there doesn’t have to be.
Most of the things I stress about don’t ever happen. And even when they do, they are never as bad as I imagined them to be. I read some really great books this winter (“Loving What Is” by Byron Katie & “A New Earth” by Eckhart Tolle) that helped me understand the root of my anxiety. It comes from me never being fully present and experiencing what is happening Now. At first I was skeptical that by accepting things exactly as they were it meant that I was complacent and unable to change situations I wasn’t happy with, but it’s the exact opposite!
After getting really honest with myself about my life purpose and what makes me happy I realized that all of my suffering is self created. Life is constantly bringing me exactly what I ask for and what I need the most. Most of the time it just doesn’t look how I envisioned it to lol. So after months of struggling and losing -hard- I decided to give in. I took inventory of my life and realized how extremely lucky I am.
Here are some things in the top of my list:
I know every mom says it, but I really do have the most amazing little boy ever. He has changed my life in so many ways and teaches me how to love unconditionally.
Also I have the opportunity to model quite often. I’ve been taking this for granted a lot lately and after coming back from LA, I have a fresh appreciation for my wonderful agency (TMG) and all the hard work they put into me having a successful career.
AND I am very blessed to work for such a funny and understanding boss up to my ears in beautiful flowers all day!
When I started to make a list of the things I’m grateful for I realized I could go on forever. Every day the Universe reminds me that I haven’t been forgotten and I am always well taken care of. I’m learning to welcome things falling apart knowing it’s so that something greater can come into place. The world isn’t out to get me (like I thought) but is in fact rearranging reality to match my dream life.
I know that the future holds fulfillment of all my dreams but the most important thing to remember is that the only way for that to happen is valuing the moment Now. All we have is Now and I’m doing my best to make the most of it!
What are ways you practice gratitude?