hope. 

Sometimes the world seems so bright and full of opportunity… and other times it doesn’t. I’ve been working through this duality a lot, in many different areas of my life the past few months. One part is full of abundance and progress, while the other falls deeper into the darkness of the unknown. 

I’ve been working really hard to look at my circumstances objectively, to find the patterns and opportunities for growth constantly being presented to me. But sometimes (like today) I get “bad” news and I want to give up forever. 

I know that it won’t last long though. Even when my hopes/plans/dreams fall through and I think I’ll never be myself again, the Sun always starts to shine into that dark place and I’m reminded that I don’t give up. I’ve made it through worse and I could make it through again. I’ve tasted something better than this reality and I won’t stop until my life always feels like that. 

I cried a lot today after the “bad” news and that helped a little, but what helped the most was going outside and writing down all of my thoughts. Not trying to convince myself everything would be ok or that soon I’ll feel better, but listening to the pain I was feeling and accepting that. Life hurts. 

But the most awesome thing is that no matter how much I feel forgotten and alone I know that isn’t true. I’m patiently waiting for what’s next. Making space for the new by letting go of all the old stuff taking up room; no matter how painful that feels. 

I guess this means I’ll continue to be patient and wait knowing that something better than I planned is coming into existence. Last time this happened I moved to Italy… so whatever is coming next I bet it’s gonna be SWEET! 

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