Yesterday, I was a sad bitch. Stuck in a thick fog of depression that I couldn’t escape. I did all the things that are supposed to make me feel better: hike, meditate, listen to my favorite song… nothing helped.
Before bed, I slumped onto the table and started to cry and realized that all day I had just needed a good hug. Nothing had been wrong… I just needed some love!
I don’t know why I always feel guilty for wanting to be loved. It must go back to something in my childhood about never feeling loved when I needed it most. But fuck that! I need love just like everybody else and I’m tired of pretending that I don’t.
It’s scary to allow myself to be open and vulnerable and ask for love, but the people who really love me won’t think I’m weird or crazy for asking.
In my relationships I’ve learned to constantly give and give. Because that’s how you make people love you, right? By giving them what they need.
But then I don’t get my needs fulfilled. So I’m going to work on asking for what I need. My needs are valid!