Last night in the middle of trying to (unsuccessfully) destroy myself, a lightning bolt of understanding hit me!
The other night I said a prayer to the Sky God, Uranus, and asked to be cleansed of all my old self defeating habits. One of which, is major self hate and unworthiness. I believed I didn’t deserve real love or for a man to treat me with respect. So I manaifested the perfect situation into my life this month to prove that. And he did an amazing job!
My shadow side relished in the pain and heartache. Doing things to continue the situation long after I knew it wasn’t healthy or beneficial.
But now I get it! I don’t want to be in the same relationship I was with my ex. Crazy highs and crazy lows. Using each other to abuse one another and activate our wounds until we just couldn’t take it anymore.
I’m moving past that. I’m creating my dream life lover. He’s respectful of me and my time, patient, funny, strong and supportive, secure and confident, full of love!
It’s easy to get caught up in the superficiality of the world and make yourself believe that is what’s important. But I know better. And I’m just teaching myself the hard way lol.
So thank you Uranus for your crazy guidance and support. Thank you for helping me to see through the emotional fog to the truth.
I love myself! And I’m worthy of TRUE love!