sit with it

Today I’m feeling sad, and I don’t know why. One of those days when I just need a really good hug.

I’m finally doing so many of the things I’ve been wanting to do and tons of creative opportunities are coming my way, but I feel stuck… like I’m in a race and all ready to go, but when they yell start, I run like I’m underwater. Maybe it’s the mix of Aries season and Mercury Rx. Got me feeling real weird.

I mean that would make sense why all of a sudden I’m reviewing old issues that I thought I had worked through. How many times can I go over my self worth and relationship to money? The answer: so many I’ve lost count lol.

So instead of trying to make this moody mood go away, I’ve been making time to be alone and listen to what it’s saying. Instead of forcing myself to feel better and do things, I took a nap and didn’t do things. Honestly, I still feel a little guilty about it, but I know it was what I needed.

What do I do now though? I guess the only thing I can do is accept where I’m at and wait for things to shift… they always do. Even when it seems like I’m stuck in the same bullshit forever, if I look really close, I can see how my reactions are different. And maybe that’s the whole point. Not changing the situation, but changing how I relate to it. Developing my skill of waiting with grace. Letting things bloom in their own time and not pulling things up before they’re fully formed and ready.

Patience is definitely something I will always need to continue practicing. It’s funny, because I can endure and get through anything, the toughest of the tough times… but I also get really excited and want everything to happen NOW.

Anyways, hope you guys are surviving Aries season and Mercury Rx. Just remember: slow progress is still progress.

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