how to connect with depressed friends

I LOVE this TEDx talk about connecting with finds who are depressed. I’ve found so many times that depression is all the more isolating, because friends and family don’t understand what depression really is like to live with or know how to be there for those they care about when they are depressed.

The best times I’ve shared with others while I was depressed were the little moments of quiet companionship and maybe a dark joke. Like Bill says in the video, you can be sad and still be ok. It’s disheartening when you feel like you have to put on a mask in order to be accepted and loved. The thing that is the most comforting when you are depressed is knowing that you are still loved, appreciated, and valued exactly as you are at that moment.

Our culture is obsessed with fake happiness, and the truth is that life is messy and hard and sad, and so many other different emotions that we hide, and don’t allow ourselves to experience because we are afraid of not conforming to what society tells us are acceptable emotions to feel and display. The amazing thing about feeling down is that you appreciate feeling good so much more. The lower you go, the higher you can go.  Once I started to honor the darkness, and the light, I realized how integral and beautiful they each are to our growth.

I heard a quote the other day that was talking about how we could never see the beauty of the night sky and the stars unless the moon was dark, because if the moon was always full we would only know the light. I finally realized after watching this video that the gold in the pain of depression for me, is that it causes me to slow down and practice gratitude for all the small, beautiful things that life is full of. Depression has helped me to become more compassionate towards others. It has also taught me how beautiful the impermanence of life is. Death and life are the same. Without one the other wouldn’t be possible.

the depressions

Weird how it just kinda creeps up on you… almost unnoticed until you realize that one spot in your brain is feeling funny again.

For me, it’s more numbness than sadness lately. And that’s the worst because at least when I’m sad I can do a little self reflection and hopefully figure out what triggered that.

But when it’s like this I don’t even know where to start. When did I first begin losing my patience and forgetting about how happy I’ve been? It was probably last night… I noticed myself snapping a little at the people I love, but I thought I was just tired.

Then, today I noticed the background hum of those old negative thought patterns getting louder and louder again. I want to tell them to stop, that things aren’t like they were before, and I have every hope and faith in bright future… but today I’m not so convincing.

I think I’ve been inside too long. I’m going to take a nice, hot shower and go enjoy the blue skies while I can. I always feel better after I get out of the house and breath some fresh air. Hopefully the birds are chirping because that always makes me feel better too 🙂

lighten up! 

How can I lighten up when everything feels so heavy and depressing? How can I remember that it’s all just a game… nothing to be taken too seriously.

Being depressed is a lot of work. Physically, mentally, emotionally it takes a ton of energy. How can I redirect that energy into lightness & play? What’s that one physics law that says energy can’t be created or destroyed, just switched around? 

I’ve been so stuck in this funk (and for good reason), but that doesn’t mean I have to keep using my energy to hold myself down. All of that energy can be better used and maybe will help me come up with some magic! I could definitely use some of that right now. 

Low vibration energy gets stuck and doesn’t want to move around. It keeps me in a fog of hopelessness. But high vibration energy moves around a whole bunch! It’s always running, playing, changing, and not getting attached to anything for too long. 

Maybe that’s part of the secret: to not be attached. 

So now I guess it’s just finding practical ways to spend my energy doing things that make me feel light instead of heavy. Swinging at the park, petting the kitties at Best Friends, eating some yummy food, telling inside jokes with my mini me, watching animal videos… Just writing about it makes me excited to redirect my flow to the things that make me happy in life. 

It’s hard to remember this when you’re feeling down though, so maybe I’ll put sticky notes on my mirror or something 🙂